SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!

Sundays aren't just a day for Monster-Truck rallies. Or Church. No, Sunday is actually a great night of television! Well, that sounds excessive. How 'bout Sunday is a night when television is on!

SUNDAY

8pm

Extreme Home Makeover ABC, premieres 9/26

Look I think there’s a time and a place for feel-good entertainment, and Sunday night is definitely it. Having said that, I’m so over Screaming Ty and the rest of his motley crew. Can’t we just bring back “Wonderful World of Disney”? Cause even when that douchebag Michael Eisner was hosting, it wasn’t half as annoying as when the designers find out a kid kind of likes football so they build him a goal post to sleep in and an Astroturf rug…

The Amazing Race CBS, premieres 9/26

I only randomly catch bits and pieces of this show but it is always entertaining and does a good job of exposing how ethnocentric and internationally-inept we are as Americans. Plus that Phil Keoghan hosts, and I like how he always seems to be judging the contestants (but not in a smarmy Alex Trebeck-ian way).

The Simpsons FOX, premieres 9/26

Of course this show is past its prime, its been on since I was in 6^th grade and I AM OLD.  So yeah, its not as funny or biting or ground-breaking as it once was. But so what? This show is sort of like old people who fought in wars, in that they once did amazing things, and now they are not so amazing but we owe them a modicum of respect. 

FOOTBALL Ongoing, NBC

There wouldn’t be “Sunday Fundays” without football (well, there would, but then it would just be purpose-less day-drinking, and my god, I still have some pride). So while I am rarely if ever personally invested in the outcomes of games (except Redskins-Cowboys), its always some sort of semi-entertaining spectacle.

8:30

The Cleveland Show FOX, premieres 9/26

Look, in many ways Seth McFarlane is a genius, and I consider “Family Guy” to be necessary commentary on American culture today. But this? This is not necessary.  Outside of the 1980s, I am not a fan of spinoffs. I did hear Kanye is coming back on.

9pm

Desperate Housewives ABC, premieres 9/26

A couple of years ago I started calling this ‘Housewives Desperado’. That fact is neither important nor interesting, which perfectly captures how I feel about this show, which I gave up on 3 seasons ago. However…for those unlucky few still tuning in:

Where we left off: Mike and Susan moved away from Wisteria Lane (gasp), Lynette gave birth (again! Double gasp), Paul Young moved back to town, and someone was switched at birth. The only thing that could possibly induce me to watch this program again is if they cast a star from the early 90s who ended up turning into a ridiculously hot guy.

What’s next: Who’s moving in to the neighborhood - Brian Austin Gr – oh snap.

Undercover Boss  CBS, premieres 9/26 at 10pm, moves to 9 10/3

According to Entertainment Weekly, 17.7 million people watched this on average during its first season. I don’t find this shocking. Because if “America’s Got Talent” has taught us anything, its that you shouldn’t underestimate this country’s ability to both accept and appreciate inane television.  

Family Guy FOX, premieres 9/26

Where we left off: On-point but sometimes off-putting hilariousness.

What’s next: A Very Special Christmas episode!

9:30pm

American Dad FOX, premieres 10/3

Where we left off:Meh.

What’s next: EW says all the Seth McFarlane shows will do a semi-crossover where a hurricane hits all 3 shows… just like what happened on “Golden Girls” and “Empty Nest”! Oh man, whatever happened to those Empty Nest sisters? I feel like one of them probably OD’d.

10pm

Brothers and Sisters ABC, premieres 9/26

HINT!

Where we left: Ojai went out of business, they discovered Narrow Lake was a water reserve, Saul got tested for the first time after 30 years and because its TV of course he has the HIV, there was a huge car accident where Holly got hurt and Robert got dead.

What’s next: The show will take a page from, well, a lot of other shows lately, and jump ahead one year. Kevin and Scotty are going to take in a homeless kid, Kitty is re-entering the dating world as a widowed single mother, and Justin and Rebecca are over because Emily Van Camp quit the show. Oh and they aren’t inviting Tommy back, because Balthazer Getty is an unbearable douchebag. Ugh, and that Frenchman who is supposed to be some sort of heartthrob is officially a series regular, which means I will be filled with annoyance for 18-22 episodes. And finally, you won't BELIEVE who they cast as Saul's new love interest!

CSI Miami CBS, premieres 10/3

Where we left: Delko rejoined HoCaine’s team. A serial killer came to CSI headquarters and everything was chaos. 
What's next: Somebody doesn’t make it. I’m guessing its Eddie Cibrian, since he was released from his contract months ago, so, yeah… Other than that, the suckiness is same old same old

OTHER:

Boardwalk Empire HBO 8pm premieres 9/19

HBO’s been hit or miss for me (love the “True Blood”, hate “Hung”, and “Entourage” has been “meh” for years. But everyone’s saying this is the next show that’s going to take over the world (or at least award ceremonies for the next couple years). Its from a “Sopranos” writer and produced by Scorsese (who also directed the pilot) and stars Steve Buscemi. But isn't Buscemi, much like jalepenos, really best served in small doses???

Dexter SHOWTIME, 9pm, premieres 9/26

Where we left: a bad place. Dexter killed Trinity, but not before Trinity killed Rita.

What’s next: Now after fishing his wife out of a blood-filled bathtub, Dexters got 3 kids to raise, suspicion of murder to deal with, a sister to live with, and Julia Stiles to somehow someway incorporate into this season plotline. Good luck Dex!

The Walking Dead AMC, 10pm, 10/31 premiere

Could zombies be the new vampires? We’ll see!

FINAL CALLS:

8

Watch/DVR: Football

DVR: Simpsons

SKIP: Extreme Home Makeover, Cleveland Show, The Amazing Race

Online/On Demand:

9

Watch/DVR:  Football or the occasional Lifetime Movie Network

DVR:  Boardwalk Empire

SKIP:  Undercover Boss, Desperate Housewives, American Dad, 

Online/On Demand:  Family Guy, Dexter

10

Watch/DVR: The Walking Dead

DVR: Brothers and Sisters

SKIP: CSI Miami

Online/OnDemand: Bored to Death/Eastbound and Down

And finally –

 Coming sometime to a cable channel near you

Facing Kate (USA…TBD)

I’m 50/50 on these USA shows (and man, who would have thought the channel that used to air “Rhonda UP All Night” would have the most cohesive branding on original productions around). For the most part their characters are, indeed, welcome – they are just not what I consider MUST-SEE TV (except for "Psych", because there is nothing NOTHING I love more than pop culture references and interracial best friends). USA shows are perfect as breezy, enjoyable summer programming – I loved “Covert Affairs” and according to my mom, “The Royal Pains” is good too.  But I digress. This newbie is about a lady lawyer (Sarah Shahi, from the brilliant but cancelled "LIFE") who becomes a court-appointed mediator…get it, instead of starting problems shes SOLVING them, ooohhhh.  Her ex-husband is played by Michael Trucco, last seen on last season’s "Castle", who is one of those good-looking guys I am weirdly completely unattracted to.

Franklin and Bash (TNT…TBD)

I guess TNT is trying to balance out all their lady TV now, with “Dark Blue” and that one about the cop/Elvis impersonator starring Jason Lee, and now this….Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar as ambulance chasers who join a respectable law firm run by Malcolm McDowell. I’ve been wrong before (“Why should I watch that ER-rip off Greys Anatomy, it sounds stupid"...), but this has SHITSHOW written all over it.  I sometimes worry that torture in Hell is, like, ironic - wherein you kinda get what you want but there’s some sort of awful twist. And I have a legitimate concern that my hell is gonna be watching TV all day, but its just, like, Fox News, Everybody Loves Raymond, the really horrible Hanna Barbera cartoons from the 70s, and crap like this.

GLORY DAZE (TBS…TBD)



sometimes...

 I hate when people spell “days” as “Daze”. Its moronic. Like naming your baby Krystal with a K.  Anyway, this is a new show about 4 friends pledging a fraternity in the 1980s. I think the plot sounds promising. And this is the network whose motto is “Very Funny” (except, it really isn’t, besides "My Boys" which they just canceled, and the occasional episode of "Lopez Tonight", everything else is total crap *waves to "House of Payne" and "Meet the Browns"*). Hopefully the arrival of Conan O’Brien will make TBS “Actually Very Funny”.